Thoughts

Well as they say, Happy New Year to everyone. It's already been trying, unfortunately. Today was my last day at the hospital and apparently even my last day couldn't be relaxing and carefree. I try so hard not to let them get to me and not to feel like "that girl who couldn't cut it" but it's almost impossible, even after you leave. The beginning of my day started ok then I find out that my supervisor LOST my final semester evaluation (which was less than glowing might I add) which has to be turned in to the clinic director (the ORIGINAL has to be turned in). I know that everyone makes mistakes but after an entire semester of me getting lengthy lectures about idiot things, that seems like an awfully large mistake to make. UGH

All day long I had been contemplating how to "say goodbye" at the end of the day. I knew that I wasn't doing the card thing because they obviously didn't care about me in the slightest. But I still wanted to follow social appropriateness and say something. So the end of the day comes around, about 25 minutes before we usually leave and I realize that both of my supervisors had left without a word. I had every intention of at least saying something but they fixed that dilemna real fast. I guess that solved my problem right? The other intern could only look at me with wide eyes and say, "WOW, I can't believe they did that, WOW" (I don't think she fully realized how much they disliked me until today). It's really hard not to feel completely incompetent and insignificant in a situation like that one.

BUT, the good news is that I NEVER have to step foot in that place ever again. And that makes me happy. I know that I am meant to be in this field and that God will renew my confidence. I'm confident that God gave me this opportunity to "get out while I still can" to restore my faith in myself as well as to broaden my opportunities. So for that I give thanks. But it's still hard....and I hate that...